Organic Wine Buyer Beware

While I was reading Skinny Bitch I decided to go and find an organic wine without sulfites. For some reason I didn't think it was as hard as it was going to be. I went to Whole Foods first and they didn't have anything. I then went to Sprouts and by golly they had one brand, Frey. It wasn't like they had a huge selection so I chose the Red Wine and the Cabernet. Well, this picture is the result of me opening up the Red wine first. I guess when you buy organic wine, or at least this brand, they use a type of recyclable cork. It kind of reminded me of particle board when it gets wet and just crumbles and breaks apart. So, when I went to open this bottle just like I open any other bottle of wine it didn't turn out the way I expected it. I grabbed my rabbit wine opener and put it in position and started to push the lever down and I got splattered with wine that shot up through the crack as the cork shot down the neck of the bottle. Of course the cork didn't go all through, no that would of been too easy. Instead it got stuck. I then reached for my jackknife wine opener and managed to start pulling it up but couldn't get it to come all the way up. Then I tried the rabbit again and it did the same exact thing. After getting a facial with this lovely organic, sulfate-free wine I began to start having a mini-nervous breakdown. I was determined that this bottle of wine was not going to beat me. I tried poking and stabbing the cork through b/c I just knew this wine was going to be absolutely delectable. This went on for about 5 minutes until I chipped the side of the bottle. At that point I felt beaten. I held it upside down and saw a little trickle drip out of the bottle. I decided to taste what little I could get out the Fort Knox of all wine bottles. Blah! Yuck! Yuck! Yuck! I cast that bottle aside and started working on the Cab. The exact same thing happened with the second bottle with the exception of not chipping the mouth. I did manage, after a lot of hard work, to get the cork out of this one though. I finally got to have me a glass of vino. This tasted a little better but not worth the effort of taking a wine bath or drinking cork in the bottle. I have to put this all behind me. That was the only glass I tasted because wine without selfites has to be drank quickly or it will spoil. I guess I should of drank the whole bottle that night but I didn't. So, the money along with the wine got poured down the drain. I'll keep the sulfates and just drink in moderation.